Loved Jokes 6 - LoveThisJoke.com

By Christopher Robinson
One-liners and short jokes as "Loved" by a panel of social media judges!
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Loved Jokes 6

I hate the thick towels you get at nice hotels. They make it hard to shut my suitcase.
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Alcohol makes you think that you are whispering when really you aren’t.
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Give a redneck fireworks and he’ll show you 76 ways to “maim” yourself.
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Yo mamma is so lazy that she won “American Idle.”
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I tried to enter an Ugly Contest, but they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”
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When I die, my friends will be sad. I owe them money.
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Patient: “Doctor, I’m urinating uncontrollably. What can I do?”
Doctor: “Depends.”
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The internet went down today and I noticed strange people in my house. Come to find out, they were my wife and kids.
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I went to Home Depot and ask the clerk for nails. He said, “How long do you want them?” I said, “Forever, if that’s ok.”
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“Marriage” – a relationship where one is always right and the other one is the husband.
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“An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An onion a day keeps everyone away.”
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My wife complained that I never listen to her…or something like that.
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I told my girlfriend to speak loud and slow because my mother was deaf. I told my mom that my girlfriend was retarded.
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